compassion

when i see the people i love struggling in life, areas of lack
especially my own family. whom i have to face daily. i always have this though...
what is wrong with them. why are they so blinded. why do they allow themselves to be in this misery. why can't they accept Jesus into their lives and allow Jesus to work in them.
I am not Jesus! I cannot fill that emptiness in them. I cannot transform them.
really no one else can rescue them except by the love of Christ.
i hate it when they lean on me for their security, to be their companion. their counsellor. their source of love. their life!
go get a life!!! my mind screams. i feel so tried and drained from my work and i do just want to rest at home. then they come. demanding my attention, my time.
i cannot understand this behaviour. as i felt that i was independent and seldom 'trouble' people with my wants and wimps. if i can do it so can you! go get a life pls. i have my own life to lead.
me and God. you and God.
i am exhausted from giving. give me a break....i need to receive from Jesus OK.

then one saturday morning 5/5/07...
revealation.....
holy spirit prompted
"you are also like that but you have ME"
then i was brought to rememberance the 'old me'
then it suddenly struck me. i am not independent! i am dependent like any other people.
i can even be annoying to the point of being manipulative in the past
but now my strength is in the Lord. I depend on Him and look to Him instead of man.
when i am sick ...i turn to You for comfort
when i am in a trial...i put my trust in You
when i do not know what to do...i wait for Your answers
I am humbled. It is by His grace i am who i am now.
i have forgotten how helpless and hopeless i was in the past.
i am still helpless and hopeless but i have placed my hope and trust in the Lord.
i have the Lord. and He has graced me with the gift of faith.

a good leader brings people closer to God
have compassion on the lost and serve them
now i can understand why Jesus spend so much time on prayers.