testimony

this script was written for 15.05.2005. my water baptism date.
we were supposed to share a testimony before the baptism.

"I accepted Christ 8 years ago. Before I became a Christian, I had many friends who shared Christ with me. In fact two of them were my best friend and also my then boyfriend, who was a catholic. But I never believed and rejected the gospel. I was very resistant. I never had the desire to visit church. Especially after some negative feedback that I got from my two best friends, that Church is boring. They did not enjoy church at all. It was quiet, solemn, and very serious. So what makes them think that I would go with them? No way!

But God is good. He never gave up. By His grace and divine appointment, I met Wyman, a brother-in-Christ. We were classmates and became good friends. I knew that he is a Christian but he never preached to me (which I hated). But he did invite me to church, which I did eventually go. Why and how I accepted Christ was all by God’s grace. Nothing miraculous happened, neither was there any signs nor wonders. But I knew that Jesus is real. I was touched by His presence and His love. There was something stirring in my heart and spirit that made me accept Jesus as my saviour that day.

After I was converted, I did not receive any ‘proper follow-up’, no discipling, no mentoring, only some Christian friends here and there. Therefore I remained a convert and was never truly a follower of Jesus. There really was no one around to inspire or to motivate me. My friend Wyman gave me a bible, that’s about it. I was informed that I need to pray and read the bible. Cool.

I attended church, whenever. Read the bible, whenever. I was a very disobedient child. There was so much guilt and shame.

Again by God’s grace, He led me to another church which has a very strong emphasis on grace. I am really thankful because without this truth, I would have given up hope on myself. But God is faithful; He never gave up on me. Regardless of how disobedient I was, I knew that Jesus loves me.

But that is not enough. I wanted more. I wanted to get myself out of the mess that I allowed myself to be entangled in.

When I came to Melbourne to study 2half years ago, I knew that I must do something to help myself. I was desperate. So I planted myself in OCF. God has been extremely patient and merciful to me. He is so so good. Even better than I can ever imagine. He provided me with so many brothers and sisters because He knows that I am lonely. I know that God’s favour was on me in many situations. My journey here was smooth sailing, with my accommodation, studies, pr application, relationship with family back in Singapore, etc.
God is indeed faithful. He changed my life. I changed 160º. Transformation was supernatural. It all happened when God used a dear sister in Christ, to become a messenger to me; giving me words of knowledge, for a few times.
God said many things to me. But there were a few sentences which really touched me deeply. They are:

“How can I be angry with you? You have your salvation many years ago. I want to help you, but I can’t because you won’t let me. You have been doing it by yourself for too long. You are going to breakdown soon. Please let me help you. Trust me one more time. I am not going to let go until you say yes. I am not going to let go until you say yes. I love you so much”.

I am so flawed, yet God showed so much love, mercy and kindness to me. I was greatly touched by the fact that God is so determined to bring me out of the wilderness, that I finally submitted my life in His hands.

Things began to change, supernaturally, after I made up my mind to forgive the people that God wanted me to and to let go of things that God wanted me to. God is awesome throughout this period.

At one point, HE again used dear sister to encourage me “my child, my child, I am so proud that you are standing here today”. I was reassured I am on the right track. Until one day God spoke to me again, saying “You are fully restored. No more holes, no more leakages, lacking nothing. You are on your own from now on. No more messenger. Holy spirit will be your guide”.
At that time, I was like still struggling, I told God “NO!! I want messenger”
But God is merciful. He guided me along the way and today I know that the God, whom I have fallen in love with, is very proud and happy that I am standing here proclaiming how good He is and how much He loves us.

Now, there is no greater joy now than to do things that pleases my KING!! It’s so good to be alive and serving Jesus.

Thank you for reading."

actually, the baptism date was originally not on 15.5.05.
it was either supposed to be a few weeks before or after
and i believe it is divinely arranged to fall on this blessed day

elaine was a name i gave myself during my teen years
i remembered i called myself Linda, Justine ...and finally Elaine
again it is God's divine doing. preparing me for my destiny...