Courageous Warrior

Once lost in wilderness, i was rescued by my prince, now a conqueror for HIS kingdom

Saturday, November 29, 2008

______taking the less-travelled road_______

When I have abundance, I tend to lose perspective of simple things in life
maybe the busyness of life had clouded my vision too...

there were two crisis that happened of late.
My beloved papa went to be with Jesus on 4Nov08
And one week prior to that, i fell and fractured my left foot and had to be casted for few weeks

It's been a long time since i had such a long period of idle time at home.
Coupled with my immobility, i had plenty of time to catch up on things that i missed doing..
afternoon naps, music, sermons, reflection, stock take on my relationship with God, stock take on 2008

2008 had been a great year despite all the pain. By God's grace i had grown, though at many times i still don't quite like myself much. i don't love enough, i am not patient enough, i failed too many times... I now understand what it means not to criticise myself. growing up is indeed a struggle and painful process....refined in hot fire. But its all good. I had told God i wanted to learn fast despite the pain. maybe i felt that i had lost much precious time wandering wondering in the wilderness before. The revealation of God's great love had caused me to change my heart. God knows how much tears i had shed during the times of trials....and i still want to stick to growing up fast. Haiz...and His grace is sufficient to guide me through.

Simplicity Humility and Contentment...some things i had been reminded to meditate on during my times of reflections
The wonders of God's creation.... the smell of rain, the smell of fresh crisp air, the white fluffy clouds, the feel of wind caressing my cheeks, the warmth of sunlight, the swaying trees, the beautiful rainbow, a child smiling, a baby chuckling, an extra piece of roast pork! the list goes on...
I indeed have adundance in Singapore compared to in Melb.....family, more friends, more money, more many things.. but... i became less grateful. Taking things for granted at times. Losing the simplicity of life. Losing perspective.

My desire for 2009 is to make Jesus my best friend.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Praise

I give a shout of praise
Hallelujah !!!
The desire to praise too...given from on high
leading me to the path of victory
As i shout with abandon
Walls come tumbling down
Rejoice.
Jumping up and down.
Spinning around.
Expecting great victory and breakthroughs.
Hallelujah

Quiet

In the stillness of the night
As I lie awake, sleep eluding me
Memories came flooding me
As I recall the experiences that life had given me
Some bitter sweet, some painful, some heart warming, some regrets
All hidden in the deep recesses of my heart
Only the Lord knows and understood
Only the Lord I give permission to enter to heal
His presence ever comforting
His love unfailing
As I pour out my heart and desires to HIM
HE hears my cries and gathers it all in His loving hands
As I struggle to submit with obedience and trust
He gently soothe me with His love and bind up my wounded heart
Once again...
When life demands, disappoints and hurt
I turned to my Saviour whom I had trusted
Whom had delivered me time and time again
Tears He had collected in His bottle
Remembering me His beloved daughter
In quietness, trust and obedience
I wait upon the Lord, Who renews my strength
I shall rise up on eagles wings into the realm of peace
In the heavenlies places
Seated at my Abba's right hand, together in Christ

Monday, November 17, 2008

What does it mean to look to the left or right, not to the front all the time?

Reaching Out

I was in the house with Abba, blessed, contented and enjoying the communion...
Abba asked me to go out of the house. I refused and started listing my reasons for not wanting to.
I told Abba my plate is full. I don't need anymore things on my plate!
Well, Abba being the sovereign God, He eventually kicked me out of the house.
Kicked me out OK! Haiz
I was with nothing except for a rod and staff. Where are the clothes and food!??
hahahah Abba said that's not necessary as HE will provide.

As much as i didn't want to get out of my comfort zone, Abba did not leave me with much choice..
maybe HE knew i won't openly defy HIM when i know HIS desire clearly.
sigh...off i went...doing what i think i should do.
I took up a second ministry involved in caring for new believers. I took more deliberate efforts to attend to other's needs before my own. I learned to listen to ppl without wanting to shut off their problems.
........

mmm still waiting for the second vision to come to pass : )

Abba is setting me up for more blessings!!!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Committment to the Call

As Daddy pours out his love more and more into my heart,
i started to repent from my selfish self.
When i hear HIM say 'sweetheart I love you and you are beautiful in MY eyes'
tears of unexplainable joy, love and gratefulness rolled down my cheeks.
Daddy's unconditional love makes me want to give more of my heart to HIM.
All of it...even my breath...

Lord,
I want to conquer the world for you.
And I will run the race with joy and endurance.
Not by might, not by power but by the spirit of God,
I will complete the race till i see You face to face.
To see Your face beaming with joy and pride, Your arms wide open to receive me with a beary hug.

Journey

walking with Abba is never boring...
He reveals different aspects of Himself as i run the race

There was some point about 2-3 months ago when i was so weary and discouraged
I even contemplated giving up this race altogether...
it seems too tough to carry on...helpless too frequent
Silly old me has forgotten how life sucks in the past that i actually has thoughts of reverting to the low life i used to have. Though i am not exactly there yet, living a spirit led life is definitely much much much more desirable. I am in the world but NOT of the world.
Thank God for His unfailing love. Though i struggle at times, He still holds me in His hands.
Constantly reminding me not to give up and Holy Spirit is my helper and there is no need to feel helpless. I guessed i took some time for this truth to drop in my heart. Finally i yielded myself to the One greater in me and situations around me suddenly became more bearable. My confidence grew and received supernatural strength in facing difficult situations.

In the midst of trials, i am also being sharpened, prepared to be of use as a lethal weapon.
Trials as refining fire to mould me for Kingdom use.
As i fan myself into flames, building myself up in the most holy faith, the external fire can't hurt me...

God didn't want me to give up, that i have to continue running.
HE together running the race with me, cheering me on.
Constantly hoovering around me, watching over me with tenderness and lovingkindness.
I realised He is more determined to help me finish the race than i desire myself!